Shakes Head 2012

In the second day of 2012, the only thing that is not going to change is basically my family, for the last few years it has been the same and tape recording day every day. Nothing seems new for the family of 6 living as I’m sleeping in the living room for the time being until I decide to either move out on my again (which I’m still considering) or keep dealing with it like I have been for the last 24 years. I have enough patience being at 2 different Starbucks in the same day waiting for my confirmation for my job.  Likely by this week I will know that I will be working on the 6th of January which is 20 days away from my birthday. I do want to be a better person but it seems like one my parent are not realizing that being bias to one of your kids is how to raise your kids rather than hearing both stories. In my family there is no such thing as parenting, my parents skills of parenting have died for the last year and half or maybe even longer. I’ll admit there are certain things I had to look and learn as I grew up rather than having no support and being against for the last 24 years.

I have always heard my parents say “Wait until you have your kids” or “You do tell her anything, you tell that to you kids”. Okay, so when my little sister or brother has thrown something at me and I say stop then my mom says do not tell him anything. Wait…..are you joking right? I do not have the authority to tell my little brother or sister anything when basically she/she threw something at me. Then my mom tells me, you wait until you have your kid……I think that is stupid decision. When I have my own kids, my sons/daughters will have the authority to tell there brothers/sisters on what to do, my son/daughter tells there mother (future wife) or myself what happened of course there is going to be some course of action. There was another situation that I had with my sister and I discussed. Where my kid sees something dangerous and tells his/her cousin (my brother or sister’s son/daughter) to stop but hurt my kid. I would have my kid tell me then I would tell my nephew (the cousin of my son/daughter) to stop. Then if my brother or sister tells me do not tell his son/daughter anything. Alright then, I would tell my kid to beat the hell out of their cousin regardless or first come to tell me then I say no get him and beat his/her ass you have the right for self-defense.

I’ve parenting from young to my parents and it is really horrible. Today’s kids especially from generation to the young are really bad. No manners, no respect, no parenting or supervision. At times I think do I really want to change in my family household and get stepped all over by my little sister and by my mom and get in trouble for something I did not do? In Rosemead I would not let anything get in my way, when I came back in April of 2011 to live with my parents I loosen up. My little sister was okay until she has been developing an attitude and she was not like that before. I really want to get my job quickly now, because the way I see it, I’m not going to let this keep going. Maybe that’s why I do not take her painting or buy her anything because the way she is. That’s how I was with my little brother I did not bother buying him anything until he was older and mature. I am a big believer in respect and being fair among kids. I do not see that when I was a kid. If there has to be a time to stick up for myself then I’m going to do it.  When I was younger I felt like I was against all the time but I understood how to stand up for myself then I understand the importance of accomplishing your goal and standing up for myself.

Right now, I’m on the right track of beginning my life. I think I have to start planning activities to get out of the house more and learn how to go somewhere without spending as much money. Maybe more reading time, working hard at my job or volunteering. I have options to look at it to develop myself as a man and person when I continue life. I would have to look in about a month in a half after working to see what directions and paths do I have available.  Since majority of my time will be working before coming home I can stop by somewhere relax and eat. As time goes, I will input my schedule and will give my strategy towards my activities and directions I have. Currently it is only the second day in the year 2012.